the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
