therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
