I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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