Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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