So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
