I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
