at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
