My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
