is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
