hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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