you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
two words...techno handjob
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
