she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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