i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
