Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
