So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
