So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
