What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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