You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
