quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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