He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
