toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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