people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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