He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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