that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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