he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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