Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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