I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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