I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
