You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
