ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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