ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
