i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
