like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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