Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
