You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
