I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
