OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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