She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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