we made out on top of his cat.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
