He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
