so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
