I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
