The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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