OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
