when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
