I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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