If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
