Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
