Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didn't notice because vodka
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
