What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize