totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
