so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
