Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it glows. i had to have it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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