i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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