Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
