Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's great music for shaving your balls
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
