Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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