It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
